Scrapple & Eggs

Signalling a return to the “Straight Talk Express” John McCain of 2000, the Arizona Senator got back to calling ‘em as he sees them this week.

“Call it what you wish,’ remarked the Senator,”But an unresolved hostage crisis, gas and energy fiascos, mortgage rates at 20% interest, and that retarded brother of his were absolutely lousy, in my opinion. And I suspect, in the opinion of most Americans.”

McCain went on to opine that KFC Chicken tastes like shit now that they’ve phased out trans-fat frying oil, that nipple pasties at titty bars are nothing but a “goddamned tease”, and that it’s high time the Arizona Cardinals football team hires a coach that doesn’t completely “suck the big one.”