Scrapple & Eggs

The temperature was hot in the Philadelphia Phillies clubhouse this Sunday, while champagne flowed freely as the streaking Phils celebrated their first trip to the post-season in 14 years.

But one place that was very far from warm yesterday? Hell.

Speaking to reporters concerning the amazing temperature drop was Satan’s Press Secretary, Rev. Jerry Falwell.

“Yes, it was quite chilly around here yesterday,” commented the deceased Reverend. ”I wouldn’t say that the place froze over, but it was a cold, cold day indeed. Some places down here actually got some snow.”

Reports from around the normally firey underground confirmed that a snowball made from yesterday’s freakish precipitation would actually last for several hours in the frigid temperatures.

 This was good news for Hell’s drunken Philly fan sector, who, between cheers for the Phils, siezed the opportunity to pummel hundreds of former shopping mall Santa Claus’s with snowballs. The Claus Posse is doing an undetermined amount of time in Hell’s half-way house, Purgatory, for building up and then dashing the hopes of millions of children around the world. The Santa contigent was charged with, among other things, not delivering more than a million ponies as promised, and for failing to prevent thousands of parents from getting divorced.

 In related financial news, Hell’s stock market plummeted yesterday, mainly due to a drastic drop in ice water shares. The stock’s price dropped from $2 million per share to an all time low of 50 cents.